Coffee & Naughty Thoughts

Author Linda Bolton - Writer, Blogger

A Guilty Pleasure to Share

It’s been a while since my last post. The year has been busy, but I’m back. My plan is to post fairly regularly about coffee, writing, and random ideas. If you enjoy my thoughts, let me know by leaving a comment below, and sharing with your friends. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Don’t be shy.

OK, I have to confess, I have a guilty pleasure I’ll share. I’m so excited about the Gilmore Girls revival on Netflix this Thanksgiving weekend. I mean, I’m really excited. So much so, I have started watching the old seasons of Gilmore Girls in prep. I forgot how much coffee they drank! Ah, a kindred spirit.

If you’re wondering what the big deal is, you’ve never seen an episode of the Girls! It’s funny, touching, sarcastic, with a cast of crazy fun actors. My favorite are Lorelai’s parents, Emily and Richard Gilmore. They both have that stern exterior but with a few soft spots when you least expect it.  And, of course, there’s the men, teenagers to mature adults, all are good looking, bad boys, sweethearts, lost souls, riding motorcycles and owning businesses. It’s all there. I can’t wait for the Revivial! It’s going to be great!

Do you have a favorite guilty pleasure? If you aren’t too embarrassed, please share!

 

 

Are you looking for ways to enjoy your mid-life and beyond?

Let’s face it, being over forty is inevitable. Sixty sneaks up before you know it. Are you ready for what lies ahead?

I met two really awesome women recently who are letting me be part of a project very near and dear to their hearts. It’s a new YouTube show starting February 14th, Valentine’s Day. It’s called 60 with a Splash of Splendor. No I’m not 60 yet but the show isn’t just for sixty year olds and up, it’s for everyone.

Liz and Lexi’s goal is to inform in a casual fun way. Not to say every show will be a party but the information they are sharing is useful to all ages, women and men.

60 with a Splash of Splendor

60 with a Splash of Splendor

Why a show called 60 with a Splash of Splendor?  Well, because there isn’t anything like it out there.  Liz was googling and looking on YouTube for information geared toward the sixty year old and up. She couldn’t find anything.  In her frustration she decided to do something about it. 60 with a Splash of Splendor was born.

I was lucky enough to get involved because Liz loves my books. She asked if I’d be the resident romance advice gal. I couldn’t say no! They are amazing women with a great message to share.

60 with a Splash of Splendor will cover topics such as:

  • What is Romance
  • Sex after 60
  • Online Dating Safety
  • Health and Fitness

These topics fit any age, event the Sex after 60 segment. I think you’ll really find this a great show. I’ll be posting links to the show here and on social media. The segments are only fifteen to twenty minutes. I know you’ll just love them!

Friend them on Facebook to get updates!  www.facebook.com  search Liz N Lexi

 

Get Motivated and Make this Your Year

 DeathtoStock_CreativeSpace2 11.45.06 AM

Can you believe it’s 2016 already? Last year flew by. What’s this year hold for you?

I don’t do actual resolutions, I call them goals. I have goals every year and usually life gets in the way pretty damn quick and blows them out of the water. I have a friend that chooses a word to represent her year instead. I like that idea. Maybe my outcome will be better when I looked back at 2016 next January.

I think my word for 2016 will be FOCUS. I need to stay focused on my health (the never ending twenty-five pounds I wrestle with), my writing (I plan to finish two novels this year), and on my family. I have so many things going on it’s easy to get out of FOCUS. I lose sight of what’s important to me and let the world take over.

I challenge you to pick a word for 2016. Share in the comments and let’s all have a better year!

 

 

 

Black Friday/Cyber Monday Book Sales

black friday

If you love prizes and fun games, come join us Friday, Nov 27, – Monday, Nov 30, on Facebook. Don’t stand in long lines and get cranky! Play fun games, meet some authors and win super awesome prizes! All in the comfort of your home on your computer!

Facebook Black Friday Event

prizes

I’m excited to share the Grand Prize list with everyone today! Total value of these gifts rings in at more than $800.00 This list includes all our generous gift givers. I hope you will give them a huge thank you here and by connecting with them in the future! Click “see more” to see the whole list. All the gifts were so fantastic we had to enter them into random.org to sort them into 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place.
1st Place Winner:
$75.00 Amazon Gift Card
Given by #MKSP and #EBBT– The small, but mighty publisher and eBookBargainsToday where you will always find the best deals on eBooks.
Connect with us:
https://www.facebook.com/MasterKodaSelectPublishing
http://ebookbargainstoday.com/

doTERRA essencial oils – Value $60.00
Wrap yourself in relaxation and luxury with this doTerra Citrus Bliss Bundle: Includes soothing hand lotion, and invigorating bath bar. A bonus gift of peppermint and wild orange lip balm round out this moment of bliss in your busy holiday season. $60.00 value.
Given by Joyce Kaiser

Professional Editing Job – Value $250.00
Win this editing job for a manuscript up to 12,000 words. Including grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. Vikki will also make notes on story flow & answer questions throughout the process of this edit.
Given by Vikki Zerbe Becker of #EnchantedEditing

Winter Wreath – Value $45.00
A darling holiday wreath to welcome your guests at the door.
Given by Terri Terri Renshaw Dryden of Terri’s Crafty Creations

2nd Place Winner:
$35.00 Amazon Gift Card
Given by #MKSP and #EBBT
http://ebookbargainstoday.com/
https://twitter.com/eBookBargns2day

Sage Hill Farms Organic Herbs, Teas, and condiments – Value $80.00
A collection of goodies from Sage Hill Farms packaged and designed for your personal enjoyment or as gift to pass on.
Contents consist of Sage Hill seasonings, teas, and condiments.
Given by Bea Kunz of Sage Hill Farms
https://www.facebook.com/sagehill.farm/

Tupperware bowls for your holiday baking needs. Value $58.00
These sturdy bowls range in size from 42 cups to 3 cups.
Given by Jenny Jenny Brown Welker
https://www.facebook.com/thyme4tupper/

Healthy Skin Care by Ava Anderson – Value $45.00
Get in the holiday spirit this year with a rejuvenating Candy Cane scent body scrub and candle gift set by Ava Anderson.
Given by Becky Becky Florence Copley

3rd place winner:
$20.00 Amazon Gift Card
Given by #MKSP and #EBBT

Tweets by Siefken Publications – Value $5.00
Five Tweets for five days.
Given by Wendy Siefken
https://www.facebook.com/SiefkenPublications/

Greens on the Go and It Works! Body Wraps – Value $160.00
Treat yourself to a healthy new you with these superb products for good health and weight loss.
Given by Stephanie Grillett

eBook bundle – Titles by various authors – Value $50.00
Given by MKSP and Friends
Connect with us:
https://www.facebook.com/MasterKodaSelectPublishing

We’re going to have a great time! Drop by during the weekend and join us!

**Oh, my ebooks will be on sale for $0.99 each that weekend! Deals all around! ‘Tis the season!

Do You Need a Holiday “Plus One”?

older-women-partying-22514979

The holidays are coming and you’re single. Are you looking for a date for those Christmas and New Year’s Eve parties. Comment below and let me know if you’re looking for that “Plus One”.

I know it’s October (close enough) but have you started stressing about who you’ll take to the company Christmas party, Aunt Mary’s Pre-New Year’s family gathering or to the Rockin’ New Year’s Eve party downtown? What’s the cause of your stress?

I know, you’re over forty and your sister found the love of her life at thirty. Mom and Dad are wondering when you’ll settle down. Aunt Mary gives you a hard time at every family event because you can’t seem to find Mr (or Miss) Right. Your friends are all going to have significant others with them for New Year’s Eve. Who will you kiss at midnight?

You’re probably expecting me to make suggestions where you can find a great date. Sorry to disappoint you but I’m going to give you the opposite advice – Be Brave and Be Single. That’s right, go without your “Plus One” this year.

You’re probably thinking, “Wha?” That’s right, No Date! Surprise! Why, you ask? Because, in my experience, this is the worst time to try to find that someone special. The holidays are stressful enough and then you add trying to figure out if Joe Blow’s (or Jane) bad habits are tolerable. Rather than beginning to date someone you really shouldn’t be, go to the parties alone and hold your head up high. Think about it, you need a date for Aunt Mary’s family hoopla. You take this guy that, under less stressful circumstances, you wouldn’t normally date more than once, but you don’t want to hear Aunt Mary complaining that “You’re still single?” How much more embarrassing it to have a very public argument in front of family or Aunt Mary calling a week later to invite you two for dinner and you have to tell her you’ve broke up? You don’t think she’ll let that die quietly, do you?

What do you think? Are you going to be brave and go to your parties single? Or do you want to risk a public breakup before midnight on December 31st? Tell me what you’ve decided.

 

 

 

How to have Success with Online Dating

me and curtis

 

I have quite a few friends dating in their 40’s and 50’s. I was just a year ago. Where do you go to meet people? Do you rely on your friends to introduce you to someone? Do  you try old flames on social networking sites? Or do you try online dating? Leave a comment below and tell me what you did.

I tried online dating. It was an experience. Was it all bad? No. I made a really good friend and we still chat and keep in touch. Did I think I’d find Mr Right there? For awhile…

I tried a number of sites – Match.com, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, Farmers Only, eHarmony, and a few I don’t remember. They’re all about the same. Men looking for that special woman, men looking for a few hot dates, men looking but not sure what they’re looking for. I’m sure it’s the same for men – women looking…

As I’ve talked to friends, male and female, we’ve all learned a few things along the way as we’ve online dated. First, there is no magic or fireworks when you meet. I’m not sure if it’s because you fear meeting face to face (it is a kind of blind date no matter how much  chatting online and phone calls you’ve had) or if it’s the years of cynicism, maybe a bit of both. I’m not saying it can never happen, I’ve just found that most relationships, mature relationships, take time. Do either of you have children or grandchildren? How much time do you spend with them? Are you super independent and need alone time? Are you a bit needy and like to spend all your available time with your significant other? What kind of baggage are you bringing from your past relationships? All these things come into play when you start dating. It’s a lot to consider and talking about the most important aspects early on eliminates months of dating the wrong person.

Second, you need to decide beforehand, how many dates you’ll give the relationship before you give up. Not every meeting is meant to be. He may be great on the phone or via online chat, but in person he could be a dud. I had a few. My rule was three dates. First date was usually awkward and didn’t last more than a couple of hours. Second date is more like a real date. Dinner, coffee, dancing or a movie, a walk along the lake. This is where you talk more on a personal level, feel each other out. If it goes well, and phone calls are going well, the third date is usually the relaxing date. This is where some of the bad habits come out, for both of you. Maybe it’s dinner at your house or a barbecue at his buddy’s where you meet his friends. At the end of this date is where you go home and assess if you think it’s worth pursuing.

Third, what are you rules on sex. As mature adults, I don’t care whether the site is religious based or not, sex comes up. What are your rules or boundaries? You know it’s going to go there. If you’re both in your 40’s or he’s in his 50’s, you’re wondering if things work like they should. Let’s be honest, women in their 40’s and 50’s, especially single women, are wanting more sex, more than they did at 20. And we remember how the guys were like rabbits at 20, driving us nuts, but are they still interested at 50? Do they need a little blue pill (nothing wrong with that, by the way) or have they totally lost the drive (low T)? These are things you need to know. Is he a kinky stud or a dull dud? I’m not saying you should hop into bed with every guy you date (use protection from STDs if you do) but I’m also not saying you should believe everything they say either.

From experience I have found what a guy says about his sex drive is what it was at 20. He’s not lying, he still sees himself as that young guy. Besides, what are you saying? Everyday sex sounds fun until you live together and life waps you up side your face. We all get tired after a long work day. When you’re dating, you’re limited on the time you see each other. You bump like bunnies. But once you’re under the same roof, life happens. You see each other everyday. That burst of energy you used to get when you saw each other just isn’t that explosive on a day to day basis. Reality…It’s good to discuss what each others real expectations are.

So, now you might be thinking online dating sounds too scary or complicated, what other options do you have? Well, your friends may know someone, you may find an old flame on social networking in your area (I did) or you could try Meetups. Meetups are groups of people with a common hobby or interest that get together at various times during the month. You can bring a girlfriend and avoid meeting anyone or be brave and introduce yourself to the new crowd. They meet in various locations, you just have to find one that suits you. There’s also match makers. They learn about you and match you to someone else they represent. These can be vary costly and you still may not find Mr/Mrs Right.

It’s a crap shoot! Be in the right place at the right time and maybe you’ll meet the right one. The best part, it’s an adventure!

Have you online dated? Did you find Mr/Mrs Right? I’d love to hear your experiences! Share in the comment box below.

 

Broken Heart

Broken Heart

‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t


You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t


Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power


But you won’t, no you won’t
’Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t

(Song by Bonnie Raitt)

I was skimming through Facebook when I ran across a post from a gal very dear to me. She was asking why someone you love doesn’t love you back. I commented that is happens at every age. And it always sucks.
How do we find ourselves falling for someone who isn’t falling for us? You would think in this age of computers, internet, knee replacements and organ transplants, we could find a way to only fall in love with the person who would love us back. Unfortunately, love and the laws of attraction don’t work that way.
Do you fall in love with people you’re attracted to? Sometimes. Appearance is the first thing we’re usually attracted to. Hair color, full head or lack there of, and style. Eyes. Smile. Teeth. Skin. Body type – thin, curvaceous, buff, meaty. We all have different tastes. This is where things sometimes go wrong. We may have in mind a look we’d like to be with, but we can be deceived. Always remember, don’t judge a book by it’s cover. It truly is what’s inside that matters. Once the inside is revealed, sometimes the outside isn’t quite as appealing.
My point here is, it’s inevitable. Our hearts are meant to get broken. It’s how we’re wired. I don’t like it but we can get a benefit from it. We can learn from our mistakes, figuring out what attracted us and what went wrong. The next time around we could be more cautious, be less shallow, before we jump in. Doesn’t mean our heart won’t get broken but doesn’t mean it will. And, unfortunately, only time heals. Sometimes it takes a lot of time.
Has your heart been broken? What did you do to heal?

For Better or For Worse

Wedding vows…

Have you ever wondered why for chubby or for thin wasn’t included? I hear more and more about spouses who complain that they don’t find their husband or wife attractive anymore because they’ve gained weight. WTH?

I can understand concern for your loved ones health, to want to have them around for years to come. But to be so superficial to complain about their size for personal pleasure, i.e. arm candy.  Ok, when we were twenty I know we dated for looks first, everything came after. But aren’t we more mature all these years later?

So you find the special someone and they’re hot! I’m talking smoking! The years go by and the kids come or they have a desk job and a few pounds creep up. Maybe it’s more than a few. Is this husband or wife a different person? Do they still do those things that made you fall in love with them?

I have run into men and women I knew back in school. When I look at them I see the person I used to know. We’ve all added a few pounds here and there, not to mention gray hairs and wrinkles. I chose to see them the way I remember them.

How can you tell someone you love them in one breath and then tell them you aren’t attracted to them in the next? Is that love? I don’t understand. Can someone explain it to me?

Goodbye Winter, Hello Spring

GOODBYE WINTER, HELLO SPRING!

blog hop

Goodbye heavy coat, hello flipflops

Goodbye ice storms, hello sunshine

Goodbye chicken and dumplings, hello strawberries and melons

Goodbye teeth chattering, hello sweat

Goodbye excuses not to work out, hello skinny jeans

Goodbye snuggles in front of the fireplace, hello walks around the park

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Making Your Own Luck

luck

I don’t really believe in luck but I do believe we are given many paths to chose from.

One of my paths was something many women in their mid-forties experience, I got a divorce. After a twenty-five year marriage, I did what every middle aged adult does nowadays – looked to the internet. Yes, I tried dating sites. It was entertaining at first, flattering even. There were men of all shapes, sizes and ages that wanted to take me out.I realized something…I attract the same kind of guy I was married to, not what I was looking for. So what changed? Facebook. Oh, I’d been on there for a few years but I found an old boyfriend on there about eighteen months ago and twelve months ago we started dating again. He was unlike the other men, kind, caring, thoughtful, and my girlfriends and my family loved him. New Year’s weekend we were engaged.

Another path I chose was when I adopted my daughter fifteen years ago. She was eleven years old at the time so I missed the baby stage, the terrible twos and so on. Two and a half years ago something wonderful happen – my granddaughter was born. I know everyone thinks their grandchildren are special but mine truly is. Now, I get to make up for it. Every time I see her there is something fun and silly about her. Frozen, the movie, is her favorite and she sings “Let it go” and spins around the living room. Oh, and every photo has her picking her nose. Ladylike, she is not.

This most recent path is probably my best. I know, a new love and a baby are tops on most lists but once I tell my story it will be understandable why this is the best part.

Two years ago I started working with a friend when my previous position ended. When I first arrived at her company it was a pleasant enough and everyone was friendly. However, as time went by I discovered that my boss was an actual psychopath. He could be very nice but if he thought I made him look bad to his customers, by making an innocent mistake, he would blow a gasket, curse at me and fire me. Oh, he couldn’t really fire me, I actually worked for the owner, but it was still scary, especially after I heard he’d hit a guy at a baseball game and put him in a coma. There were a few other stories as well,  one was that he had a gun in his desk. Suffice it to say I’m not perfect, despite what I’d like to believe, and mistakes do happen, not on purpose, of course. It was a terrifying way to work.

Anyway, I had been job hunting sporadically when I found my new job. I have been so stressed that I’ve had a hard time focusing to write. When your phone dings at all hours of the day and night, including weekends, it’s hard to enjoy doing anything. But I’ve escaped the black hole that was sucking me in and have spread my wings. I have a position that will allow me to have the career I never had, working with people who are fairly normal.

My life is now on track with a wonderful love, a career that will allow me to feel creative when I’m home, and an adorable granddaughter to play with. Some may call it luck but I think I’ve had more control than that. Choose your paths wisely.

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