Coffee & Naughty Thoughts

Author Linda Bolton - Writer, Blogger

Month: January 2011

How Well Do You Really Know Them?

Have you met that special someone?

Your eyes meet across a crowded room and you just know he’s the one.  You see the moonlight behind her; the way her hair flows when she walks and you know she’s the one. You do everything you can to meet them.  You begin to date, plan your future together and….they just aren’t who you thought they were.

You just knew he/she was the one.  You got along great, had similar interests, laughed at the same jokes. You move in together.  Life is a dream.  Then one day you get a collect call from the local jail.  He had a warrant for his arrest – pedophilia.  She meets your family for the first time – the whole family – and starts to freak out after the main course.  “You think I’m crazy!” she screams and runs out.  Everyone stares at you.

You have no idea what’s going on. This is someone else, not the loving, caring person you’ve been spending your nights with. How did you miss the signs? Surely there were signs…

Love is blind, so the saying goes.  Sometimes it is. How many times have you heard of couples married years to find out their spouse was not the person they thought they were. Count yourself lucky you found out before the wedding!

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Definition of Romance

How would you define romance? Hmmm, would it be a candlelight dinner under the stars, a walk along the beach hand in hand or a special look when you least expect it?

I have come to learn that my outlook of romance has changed over the years. When I was young-er, in my teens and early twenties, BH (before husband), it was those wonderful starry eyed scenes from chick flicks.  Women in distress, saved by a handsome stranger, they look into each other’s eyes and wham! they’re in love.  Oh, all my girlfriends thought so too. The knight in shining armor was coming to take us away on his white horse.

Then I dated a few of those knights and realized there was no horse, sometimes there was no car, and he wanted me to take him to a different town to get away from his crazy ex-wife. Not so romantic. Did I become cynical? A little.

Of course I have since learned there is more to romance than one special event. Its a series of moments that make the romance in a relationship.  A few of my favorites are holding hands as we walk through the mall, a kiss on the neck for no apparent reason, a massage that’s not considered foreplay.  I’ve talked to a some friends and they all agree seeing our men wash the dishes, vacuum the house and take the kids to soccer practice while we get in a bubble bath ranks up there pretty high too.

Don’t call me a hypocrite when you read my book though (when I finally finish it and someone thinks its wonderful and publishes it).  Yes, I used the typical romantic stuff you read everywhere else, but I think I added some of the grown up romance too.  She’s not overly sexy and it wasn’t love at first sight.  He is super handsome and every woman wants him (gee, I’m not perfect).  Life can be both.  They are, at least, grown ups, both in their 40’s, with grown up problems and grown up lives.  I tried….

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