Coffee & Naughty Thoughts

Author Linda Bolton - Writer, Blogger

Month: November 2012

What Does Uncommitted Mean

Hmmm, the dictionary says –  not committed to a particular course or policy. So what does that mean in a relationship? 

I asked around and I received interesting comments: unreliable, unfettered, not tied down, not willing to take the sacred walk.
So, I guess the question is, now, why would you want to be in a relationship like this? Is it a bad thing? That would depend on where you’re coming from. Have you had difficult relationships and your heart is fearful? Have you just left a relationship and committing to someone new doesn’t appeal? Is this an excuse so you can play the field? There are tons of reasons people don’t commit. 
Do you know someone who isn’t in any hurry? Are you seeing them? Are you ready and they aren’t? That is the big dilemma. How do you convince your “other” you want to be “significant”? And do you really want to?
I know I’m asking so many questions and not giving any answers. I can see both sides and it makes this topic difficult. I can see why not committing is appealing, especially if you are very busy with work. Sometimes being committed to someone makes you feel like you need to spread yourself too thin. Also, if you are dating other folks too, maybe you haven’t really been drawn to that particular someone. Should you be committed to someone if you don’t feel that strongly? Maybe dating around will help you figure out what you’re looking for and who has those attributes. 
I know being committed has its pluses: you’re monogamous, you know who you’re spending your time with, you have a special “someone”. We all want to know there is someone out there who cares what’s going on with us, will come to our aide when needed and makes us feel loved. Commitment can be good. 
Okay, so you’re ready to commit, looking for that special someone, and you think you’ve found them. What if they don’t want to commit, they aren’t ready. Do you wait for them or let them go? Does it bother you they see someone else besides you? If so, I would say move on. If you can handle it and you really like them, stick it out awhile. They might be the one.
Are you in an uncommitted relationship just because you don’t say you’re in love? Is it love that makes us committed? Its very difficult to find someone you are mentally and physically attracted to, someone who stimulates all of our senses. 
I’m full of questions today. Anyone have any answers? I’d love to hear your thoughts. 
 
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I’m Making Myself Crazy

Yes, that’s right, crazy! I started NaNoWriMo today. 50, 000 words in 30 days. What was I thinking?Took me 2 hours, and many breaks, to bang out 1868 words. Can I actually do this? 

My greatest fear at this point is that my 50,000 word novel will end up a 20,000 word novella. Backup plan? To work on my CampNaNo project from August. I only made 3600 words into it and life took over. The goal is to be more focused this time. Once NaNo is over I need to work on another full length contemporary romance in my series. Busy, busy! 
Anyway, back to what was I thinking? Well, I have a ton of great writer friends, some doing this, some not, but who are very supportive. Its a wonderful cheering section. Even my publisher is participating. Its very encouraging. Oh, and lets not forget my friends, the physical ones, are all very supportive too. They’ve been giving me plot ideas and telling me how cool this whole idea is. I love writing. Not only the voices in my head encourage me (sometimes they are a bit snarky and lurk elsewhere and leave me stranded) but friends and family rally around me. I have the best! 
If you’ve ever thought about writing, watch comments on Facebook. You’ll see a lot about NaNo. Its happening all around the world. Its actually produced published works (after a rigorous editing process – we don’t edit or spell check as we go). Come along for the ride. I know there will be quite a few of us blogging about our experience as we go too. 
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