Coffee & Naughty Thoughts

Author Linda Bolton - Writer, Blogger

Month: January 2013

How Old Are You?

I’m not talking your physical age, the year you were born. I know how old that says I am. How old are you in your head, in your soul? How old do you really feel? How old is old?

When I was twenty I had a girlfriend who dated men eight to fifteen years older than us. I thought these guys were ancient! What was I thinking? I’m way older than that now and it seems so young. But I don’t feel my age. I feel like a twenty-five year old trapped in an older body ( I won’t say exactly how old – NO ONE TELL!!!). If I don’t feel my age then I don’t have to act my age. Right?

Did I ever feel my age? Oh yes! When my child still lived at home. I think that was very aging. Trying to keep up with her, dealing with relationship drama, behavioral issues – they all took their toll and there were days I could have swore I was eighty! But as she grew up and moved out those young feelings returned, energy boosted and my mind felt less bogged down. Not that there is anything wrong with having children, they’re a blessing, but they can age us.

So, my delema is, if I date a guy my age will he be his physical age or somewhere around my mental age? Hmmm…Of course I want a mature guy, I’m no cougar! I don’t have that much energy or that much time to deal with youngster crap. You know what I mean. I want to have fun (no closing the bars! I can’t stay up that late!) but quiet time is nice too. Balance.

No old fuddy-duddy but no spring chicken either. How old do you feel? Twenty-five, thirty-five, sixty-five? Does is depend on the weather? Your mood? I want to hear your view! Message me!

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Dating with Children

I know some of you are probably thinking, “Who doesn’t have kids?” And you are right, just about everyone does.  The question I am purposing is, when your children are grown up, would you want to date someone with small children? Once you’ve become an empty-nester, are you ready to fill it back up?

Its a tough question. My daughter is grown and I have many friends with small children, or grandchildren they are taking car of. Once you’ve tasted the freedom that the empty nest brings, are you willing to let that go for the love of a wonderful partner?

I know some of you are automatically saying, “NO WAY! I have raised my kids and I want some time for me…adult time.” Then there are others that love having kids around and are saying, “Sure, let’s do it!” And there are others that are thinking, “If I really love him/her I can do this again”. So my question is, “Can you really?”

I have a friend who found the perfect guy for her but he came with two elementary-aged children. Hers are grown. She took the plunge. Has it been hard? You bet. Are the kids having a hard time with the adjustment? Sure. Does she regret it? I don’t know. I wouldn’t ask. That’s something she has to deal with and, if she loves her man, figure out if he’s worth it.

I know others that have forgone the partner due to the inclusion of children. Some folks just don’t want to help raise more children after theirs are grown. I think that stems from having challenging children; the more difficult they were, the more fear of having to do it again. Not to say every one’s children are the same, they obviously aren’t. But if your kids were a handful, you might fear having that stress again.

So, back to my question…to date someone with kids or not? Does love conquer all obstacles? What do you think?

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